What to Put on a Sympathy Card with Flowers: A Thoughtful Guide to Expressing Condolences

What to Put on a Sympathy Card with Flowers: A Thoughtful Guide to Expressing Condolences

When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, sending flowers accompanied by a sympathy card is a timeless way to express your condolences. However, knowing what to write in the card can be challenging. The words you choose should convey empathy, support, and comfort, while also reflecting your relationship with the bereaved. Below, we explore various perspectives and ideas to help you craft a heartfelt message.


1. Acknowledge the Loss

Begin by acknowledging the loss directly. This shows that you recognize the pain the recipient is going through. For example:

  • “I was deeply saddened to hear about the passing of [Name]. Please know that my thoughts are with you during this difficult time.”
  • “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.”

2. Share a Memory or Tribute

If you knew the deceased, sharing a fond memory or a tribute can bring comfort to the bereaved. It reminds them of the positive impact their loved one had on others. For instance:

  • “I’ll always remember [Name]’s kindness and how they made everyone around them smile. They will be deeply missed.”
  • “I’ll never forget the time [Name] and I [shared experience]. Their spirit will live on in the memories we cherish.”

3. Offer Support

Let the recipient know that you are there for them, whether emotionally or practically. Avoid vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything,” and instead be specific:

  • “If you need someone to talk to or just sit with, I’m here for you.”
  • “I’d love to help with [specific task] whenever you need. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.”

4. Use Quotes or Poems

Sometimes, words from literature, religious texts, or famous quotes can express what you’re feeling more eloquently. Consider including a short quote or poem that resonates with the situation:

  • “Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II
  • “Those we love don’t go away; they walk beside us every day.” – Unknown

5. Keep It Simple and Sincere

If you’re unsure what to say, simplicity and sincerity are key. A short, heartfelt message can be just as meaningful as a longer one:

  • “Thinking of you and sending love during this difficult time.”
  • “With deepest sympathy and love.”

6. Consider the Recipient’s Beliefs

If you know the recipient’s religious or spiritual beliefs, you can tailor your message accordingly. For example:

  • For a Christian: “May God’s peace comfort you during this time of loss.”
  • For someone spiritual: “May you find strength and peace in the love that surrounds you.”

7. End with a Warm Closing

Conclude your message with a warm and supportive closing. Some examples include:

  • “With love and sympathy,”
  • “Holding you close in my thoughts,”
  • “Wishing you peace and comfort,”

8. Pairing Your Message with Flowers

The type of flowers you choose can also convey a message. For example:

  • Lilies: Symbolize the restored innocence of the soul.
  • Roses: Represent love and respect.
  • Carnations: Often used to express remembrance.

9. Handwritten vs. Printed Cards

A handwritten note adds a personal touch that shows you took the time to write something meaningful. If you’re sending a printed card, consider adding a few handwritten lines to make it more personal.


10. Cultural Sensitivity

Be mindful of cultural differences in expressing sympathy. In some cultures, certain phrases or gestures may be inappropriate. Research or ask someone familiar with the culture if you’re unsure.


11. Follow Up

After sending the card and flowers, consider following up with a phone call or visit. Grief doesn’t end after the funeral, and your continued support can mean a lot.


12. What Not to Say

Avoid clichés or phrases that might minimize the recipient’s grief, such as:

  • “They’re in a better place.”
  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “At least they lived a long life.”

13. Personalize Your Message

If you have a close relationship with the bereaved, don’t be afraid to share your own feelings of loss. For example:

  • “I’m heartbroken over the loss of [Name]. They were such an important part of my life, and I’ll miss them dearly.”

14. Include a Small Gesture

If appropriate, consider including a small gesture with your card and flowers, such as a donation to a charity in the deceased’s name or a keepsake that honors their memory.


15. Final Thoughts

Writing a sympathy card is an opportunity to show compassion and support. While it may feel daunting, remember that your words, no matter how simple, can provide comfort during a difficult time.


Q: Should I mention the cause of death in the sympathy card?
A: It’s best to avoid mentioning the cause of death unless you know the family is comfortable discussing it. Focus on expressing your condolences and support.

Q: How long should a sympathy card message be?
A: A sympathy card message doesn’t need to be long. A few heartfelt sentences are often enough to convey your thoughts and feelings.

Q: Can I send flowers and a sympathy card if I didn’t know the deceased well?
A: Yes, sending flowers and a card is a kind gesture, even if you didn’t know the deceased well. Your message can focus on supporting the bereaved.

Q: What if I don’t know what to say at all?
A: It’s okay to keep it simple. A message like “I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you” is perfectly appropriate.

Q: Is it appropriate to send flowers to the funeral home?
A: Yes, sending flowers to the funeral home is a common practice. Be sure to include a sympathy card with your message.